Regrets & Disappointment

Ahhhhh, love. When will you find me?
Need I remind you that I am now 31 years old and I would like to be married and have children one day?

I've spent a good amount of time in the past couple weeks thinking about love. What had happened was....

I had been talking to this guys for 2-3 months before we actually went out. We talked every day or two and texted throughout the day, every day. There was obviously a connection and we seemed to have a lot in common. We went out a couple times and he made a point to tell me how much he liked me, how he didn't want to leave, blah blah blah. I really liked him. And maybe I didn't realize it at the time; I really liked him. Then BAM, gone. No calls, no texts, no response of any kind - nada. So for about a week, I was really upset about it. I was upset because I really don't think I did anything wrong. But even more importantly, as I realize now, I was upset because I allowed myself to really like him. We had great phone conversations, we were at similar places in life and the chemistry was there. I really thought it was possible that he would be around for a long time, but it didn't work out that way and so I was upset.

Then I went to Michigan to hang out with some old college friends. And my Physician friend proceeds to go into the details of how dangerous it is to have a child at 35 or older. Obviously at 31, chances are that I would not meet a guy, fall in love, get married, spend some time married and alone with each other and then have children all before 35. This makes me realize more than ever that I wasted too much damn time loving one person who did not deserve it, at least not for that length of time.

I've made a pact with a couple of single friends (there are only a couple left!) to get ourselves out there more. Next week I'm going to a singles bartending event downtown and then next weekend the three of us are having a single girls night out downtown. I'm trying to concentrate on bettering myself and being more social/meeting new people. Who knows, maybe my next post will be completely different!